Twas the time before the holidays and all through the sewing room
the machines sat idle while I awaited impending doom
the pillowcases were made to wrap the finished UFOs
but the woman who made them, just didn't have time to sew!
the buckeyes were made, the anise cookies cooling
the patterns were waiting, but the holidays movies kept spooling
hour after hour, on four different channels, oh my!
how to watch them, tape them, DVR them, I sigh
yet out like a flash, I need to out, at night, I do go
prairie wife, stacking wood, feeding the stove and shoveling the endless snow!
the stockings were hung with nothing to fill them
the cards left unsent, but I Ebay'ed a gem!
Cindyloo whoo will be coming real soon
joining the Grinch, Heat and Snow Miser, I am over the moon
I beat the last bid, I outwitted that shopper
my, oh my, Christmas is just going to be a Whopper
no turkey, no stuffing, no fix ins for us
just movies and sweets and all that good stuff
but papa will be returning from far away lands
and make me cook and sew, he must take a stand
because I, in my fuzzy jammies, just want my wine
so I whine and I whine and I say to all of my kind
make merry, merry everyday and enjoy each and every day
for someday, we will cook, sew and clean, YES we will shall PAY!